The congregation swoons as the oldest member of the
congregation walks into early service on Sunday morning with only the aid of
her walker. We all admire the
determination of an 94 year old who wants to worship with her church family
every week. We build a memorial park for
a beloved Sunday school teacher who dies after a prolonged illness. Beautiful flowers are planted, a plaque
erected and a special dedication service performed.
As I prepare in advance for my mother’s eventual funeral, I
think about who will perform the various parts of her last service – the
eulogy, the prayer, the words of comfort to the family. From a church of 300 members with a staff of
eight, who knows her? Who visits her? Who is her pastor? Who has been there to give her comfort in her
difficult, final days?
The part-time, visitation pastor, who is a retired minister
in his 80’s, has visited her. He will
have a part in her final service. Unfortunately,
he only knows the withered, 84 year old woman who had a sweet, singing voice
and beautiful smile. Her ten year battle
with dementia has robbed her of her brilliant, creative mind and quick
wit. He knows nothing of who she was
before the disease.
The church has forgotten her. They have forgotten that this is still her
home church. A congregation where she
sung in the choir, made pies, taught children, cleaned toilets, gave money and
loved on people. They don’t remember
that she took three children to church three times a week picking up neighbors
along the way or how she patiently prayed for her unsaved husband until he came
to know Christ for himself. She lived
out the love of God to everyone around her but no one remembers.
The congregation moves on with the newest programs,
technology and music. It ministers to
underprivileged children down the street as well as the poor in Central
America. Church members come and go like
the waves of the ocean. It is a
challenge to remember anyone’s name let alone get to know them on a personal
basis. How can anyone be expected to
remember someone who has not attended a service in eight years?
My mom’s eulogy will be presented by one of her former 4th
and 5th grade Sunday school students. She is now a professor of Biblical Studies at a
Christian university and a dynamic preacher.
She remembers my mom as a vibrant, 50-something who placed in her young
heart a love of the Word of God. That is
how my mom deserves to be remembered.
