A Season of Discontent - a fictionalized true story

         

"It's done,” he said, his face expressionless.  The computer geek took his hands off the keys and turned to face me.
“That was fast,” I said stepping over to peer at the cantankerous laptop’s stupid screen now blinking its welcome.  “I have been locked out for three weeks.”  I said again more to express my frustration than to try to explain.  I pulled my checkbook from the desk drawer and wrote him a check for $100.  That is how much stupidity costs when you forget to write down your password.

The check put a punctuation point to the theme of the last few months.  Nothing has gone the way I planned.  Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong.  Well, not everything, I suppose.  I still have my health but the stress is probably killing me.
              
During the summer I started training for a new position at work.  Along with the new position came the possibility of more money.  The excitement of learning something new and making some much needed cash kicked my motivation into high gear.  By fall I was raring to go but then the computer system that supports the new position crashed.  “We are working on it.  Hang on.  Give us another month.”  A month turned into six weeks and the new position was put on hold.  All this new knowledge is getting me nowhere.  I am working smarter but not faster. 
           
The work drama has been compounded by a string of silly accidents.  None of them were my fault necessarily which made them all the more exasperating.  The first one involved a shoe carelessly left at the bottom of a flight of steps by a young man visiting my house.  Boom, my foot hit the shoe and I went careening off to the left spraining my ankle.  The second incident involved volunteering at a horse ranch for autistic kids.  Another volunteer at the farm suddenly slapped my arm.  “A bee was crawling on you,” he said all proud of himself for his bravery.  I’m allergic to stings, you imbecile, and you don’t slap bees you shoo them.  I got over it but it took some time.

Since my mother died nine months before, I was in an altered state when my aunt asked me to drive her to Alabama to place roses on the graves of two generations of my mom’s family.   In retrospect, flip flops were not the best choice of foot attire for an old cemetery.  I took home a raging bout of poison ivy that required a trip to the doctor for a steroid shot.  To add insult to injury, I somehow gave myself a pulled trapezius muscle for Labor Day.  It is fun trying to balance a plate of barbecue while doped up on muscle relaxers.

I have found that nothing satisfies a bad mood more than buying something new, something expensive.  I had gotten a little money when my mom passed so on a whim I bought a new laptop during the back-to-school, no sales tax, weekend.  I didn’t do any research I just bought the shiniest, latest and greatest computer running Windows 8.  I had heard horror stories about the Windows 8 operating system but they didn’t register with me until they became my horror stories.  A problem connecting to the Internet necessitated me downloading a new driver from the manufacturer.  In a fit of rage and frustration, I changed my user name and password in preparation of returning the evil machine for store credit.  That’s when I locked myself out.

I would love to tell you that things are looking up.  The laptop and I are getting along but the job situation has not changed.  Sometimes the only thing you can change is your attitude.  I was due a big attitude adjustment so I made one.  Banging on a locked door doesn’t make it open any quicker.  Sometimes when the door is closed; there are no windows open either.  The only option is to wait and I am not a good waiter.  Being thankful for what’s good in my life helps even when it is a young man who is careless about his shoes or a shiny, new laptop.  I am practicing being thankful for the present and trying not to worry about the uncertain future.